Record Book

Todd and I were driving back from a Super Bowl party the other night and saw something I would never see in the States.  A big rig was carrying what looked to me to be the Jolly Green Giant's lawn aerator only there were no restraints to hold this enormous piece of construction equipment.  Zero.  So, when the big rig tried to go up a steep hill, this giant cylinder went from just behind the cab to resting on the ground.  I thought that was going to go down in the record book as one of the strangest things I'd ever seen... That was then.  This is now.  I now know better than to be surprised by some everyday occurrence such as a "professional" truck driver (I use that term loosely) putting a couple tons of construction equipment unsecured onto a flatbed semi-truck and then dump said equipment on the side of the road.  

    You see, we have birds here.  I'm not talking cute little humming birds.  There is an actual species of bird called a "Go Away Bird".  This bird isn't a cute little robin! No, this bird can only be described as a small turkey who sounds like it has just swallowed a whole flock of Canada Geese.  This is the beautiful noise that we are woken up to every morning.  Now, we have these and many others here in our backyard, and Lani loves watching them in the morning.  I was surprised yesterday morning when Lani started jumping around like she had a firecracker attached to her tail.  I then saw that one of the birds was caught between our sliding glass door and the iron grate that covers the entire window.  The grate was closed but we had the sliding door cracked and the bird had managed to wedge between the two and Lani and Em were thrilled at the show.  Todd helped the bird make it safely back to the free world, but apparently Lani didn't forget how much fun those feathered things could be.  I discovered this when I came back from running errands to find what amounted to be the feather content of a nice fluffy down pillow strewn all over my entry, kitchen, bathroom, living room, and Em's play nook.  It was one of those things that just makes you sick to your stomach, so I just left and called Todd to tell him Lani had eaten a bird, but left some remains, and that he would have to clean it up when he got home in a few hours.  I then went about the rest of my business here in the neighborhood.  I came back to the house to 'face the music' (after dropping off Em with a neighbor- like I want my daughter eating heaven only knows what kind of bird's feathers?  not exactly).  I walked in the front door and hadn't even gotten the broom out when I heard the same unmistakable noise from the morning:  a bird struggling between the glass and the grate!  Apparently, Lani just wanted to torment this helpless grey dove as she had plucked most of the wing feathers and drawn a significant amount of blood, but apparently was not humane enough to put the poor creature out of it's misery.  So, I grabbed a plastic bag (to put under my hands), scolded the dog enough for her to release her grip on a wing, and got the bird free from the grate.  Then, like any good new missionary, I went to the seasoned veteran and asked what to do.  Should I be humane and kill it?  I can't afford the vet, but should I drop it off there?  The missionary told me to release it into her backyard and she'd look after it if the bird indeed, couldn't fly.  I then went back to the task of cleaning up all the feathers throughout the house.  Todd came home and I told him the whole story, not wanting to miss any of the 'good' parts, and of course, he laughed hysterically as he pictured me with this bloody bird trying to have the neighbor help me figure out what Doctor Dolittle would do in this situation.  So, the evening calmed down and I sat down to write this post.  I got about to the part where I discovered the feathers this afternoon, when (I KID YOU NOT!) a grey parrot with red tail feathers flies into our backyard!  I'm already thinking, "not again!" as Lani was in the backyard and the bird showed no interest in leaving.  So, Todd went out and I got Lani in... and then took pictures (who would believe this story?).  I was coming back in to put the camera away when a telltale thwap rang out and I looked up to see Todd half laughing, half mortified and looking at a very disoriented bird who had just flown directly into our glass patio door and is now sliding down the window pane (again, I say, you can't make this up).  So, I go out and Todd tells me the bird's wings are clipped, hence the reason he wasn't going much of anywhere.  That said, I pulled the sleeve of my sweatshirt down over my hand, and the parrot immediately climbed up and walked up to perch on my shoulder.  We moved her to Todd's shoulder, and I went for reinforcements from, again, the neighbor.  I was told that another neighbor had birds, so I went knocking there, and to the woman's horror, told her that her precious bird had just flown directly into our window and was on my husband's shoulder dazed and confused.  Her husband ran through the backyard gate into ours, and, sure enough, found Todd with the bird eating some cantaloupe from his hand.  The man then informed us that this particular bird is generally not friendly and will bite.  Great!  It's inches away from my husbands eyes and ears and nose, not to mention lips, parts I consider extremely necessary at this point in life.  So he takes the bird away and Todd and I are left to deal with The Day of the Birds.  Do you laugh at this point?  Do you put a net up over your backyard so this doesn't happen again?  How is it that three separate incidences can happen like that... all together?  So, as I sit here wondering all over again about the insanity of the day, I again think to myself that the big piece of construction equipment being unsecured and rolling off the back of semi-truck, and thus, not making it to it's destination- definitely NOT the most note-worthy thing to happen this week.